I'm pissed.
I just read my last post. . .that I never posted.
It was about Thanksgiving and I mentioned how my Grandma (Gma we call her) had opted out this year.
I'm sad, I'm mad, I'm lost.
I hate this year.
I FUCKING HATE IT.
Last year was hard, so fucking hard.
And now this year. FUCK.
I've screamed and cried a lot the last few days.
Few.
I just realized it's been almost a week.
A week since the call.
Friday it'll be a week since I kissed her forehead, told her I loved her and that I was going to get Mom.
FUCK.
I just want to scream it over and over. Or just scream.
Two nights in a row I've dreamt about her. Random dreams, but she was there.
I don't think I can finish this or post this right now. I might lose it again. [11-Nov-2020]
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