What I'm Watching and Reading

 It's been a very long time...only a little over 6 months this time.

Quick update...the missing person was found, not alive, my husband has long covid, I had vertigo possibly related to long covid and I had the best Summer vacation ever.

 I'm currently in the middle of my usual September vacation, which means, cleaning, purging and cooking.  

You know what's so funny and odd? I keep saying to my husband how sometimes I just love being an adult.  I can have cake for dinner! Invite my friends over whenever I want.  The other day we moved the living room furniture and I used to love switching up my bedroom when I was a teenager and now I can do the whole house if I want!  And I HAVE A DOG! MY VERY OWN DOG! Who is now spayed and I can take to the dog park. I'm a dog park person! and I interact with other dog park people! It's wild.

 Husband and I just finished watching the Harry Potter movies again. They're so good. I've reread the first 3 books a few times and now I want to reread the last 2. I love The Prisoner of Azkaban and The Half Blood Prince. Those are my favourites. 

This Summer I had an awakening, if you will. I've felt different ever since. More relaxed, I want things to feel like the 80s...I even watched all my favourite 80s movies and am working on a list of ones I haven't see or haven't watched in awhile.

I've also reread some of my favourite books.  Sarah Dessen novels are perfect for Summer...omg, 'Along for the Ride' came out on Netflix this year....thoughts?  Plus 'The Summer I Turned Pretty' came on on Amazon.  I personally loved both. 'Along for the Ride' had a great soundtrack and the cast was great.  I've watched it 3x.  'The Summer I Turned Pretty', I'm watching again...I cried the first time.Both just take me back to my early 20s and give me goosebumps.

I've reread, 'Prettygirl 13' (love this book to death), 'Living Dead Girl' and next is either 'Sybil' or 'Stolen'.

I'm currently on a rewatch of Gilmore Girls, which I've seen over 20 times for sure...I had hit 19x about 10 years ago....I'm a little obsessed.

Besides Husband's long covid, things are good. 

How's life for you?

 

 

Tonight is hard

 Right as I was typing in blogger.com one of my crying songs came on, from the Titanic soundtrack. 

Yes, anything Titanic related makes me cry.  I went to the museum when it was in a city close by, years ago, it's making me cry just remembering it.

Fuck, I'm out of wine and want to watch the Titanic movie. 

That's how you know my night has been rough.

That's great, two of my worst cry songs are coming up...I know this because I tried to skip the first and saw a worse one was after and rewinded to the first cry song.

Cry songs will be listed below, or I might even link you the "Hollow" playlist, because that is what it is called on Spotify. Have fun.

You know in cartoons or movies how they can show a  flashback real fast of what's happened in the last 24hrs/5yrs/20yrs etc.

I get that sometimes.

Right now the flash back is the last 3 years.  It's fucked.  Honestly. The last 3 years are fucked.  Like, how is that real life? I'm now writing this through blurs because like seriously, how fucked.

I don't get it.

How are there so many highs and lows? It's doesn't make sense. It adds ups, like equally and all but how can that all happen in three years?

Oh cool, Hymn to the Sea, my number one cry song is on.  Oddly enough it also calms my dog and makes me bawl at the same time.  Anything written in the next few lines is emotionally driven by this song.  Oh the pipe bags. Here's where I hold my breath and cry, because I'm weird.  Fuck I hate this song.  When I was in my early teens I wrote in my diary how I wanted this played at my funeral.  Yes, I was emo.  Ooo I hate this part, I wish I had more wine.  My dog is sleeping and I'm gasping for air while crying.  Okay, now it's the kinda happy part where I skip.

These past three years, there has been two marriages, fourth deaths (in our family), one missing person(still not found), three births, homes bought, a few breakups, divorces and almost break ups, new fur babies, strains on relationships..etc 

It's been a rough go.

That does not include having covid, dealing with my mental health, stress of buying a house, stress on my relationship, work stress (I work in healthcare).  It's being fucking hell the last few years.  So everything is just running through my head on fast forward, it's bizarre.

I can't even blame it on my period because that sort of just happened (I have an IUD so my period is almost nonexistent.)

I think the trigger this week is that it was my birthday and for the second year in a row my Grandma didn't call me.

Okay, happy things. 

- I love my co-workers

- My dog makes me laugh

- My husband is awesome (sorry to husband for being the third thing on the list)

-We worked hard to get our house and our pup and I love it all

-I am grateful for the parents, siblings, friends and family I have

-Overall I'm happy and in a good place, tonight is just a hard night

Just editing this and noticed I wrote 'pipe bags' instead of bagpipes...yes it's staying in there and yes I had a bottle of wine.  You're welcome.

 

New Family Member

 So, we've been in our house now for two months.  Pretty much settled in, there's organizing to do and things that we would like to do but overall it's our home now.

Not even a month after moving in we did our number one thing and got a dog. 

Meet Sadie, we got her at 9 weeks, she is now 15 weeks old and bigger than in this picture.

 

She is teething something fierce right now, so my hands have been chew toys.  She's learned to open our back door to let herself outside, for a puppy she does pretty great on walks (just likes to stop and watch cars out of curiosity), she's met a few other dogs and loves to play.  She will snuggle but is independent, she is also a Pisces like me!

We loved her right away, I was so happy and in love that sometimes I would just look at her and cry.

That's all for now, I hope to being writing more again and posting photos as we do more around the house.

Ambitous now, procrastinator later

 There's less swarming in my head today.

Got the bank stuff dealt with. Now I wait.

I hate waiting.

Tomorrow is Friday, this week has gone by so fast but at the same time so slow?

I have a weekend of packing and cleaning ahead of me, not very exciting but at least there's wine.

I've been seeing my parents for the past year, as my husband is usually away, so I'm hoping we can maybe bbq some burgers this weekend and sit out in the sun.

Husband packed my favourite mugs, I'm tempted to unpack two of them and only use those the next two weeks.  This weekend, I intend to clean all the blinds and windows, clean the oven, finish packing all the extra junk I have on the bookshelf, clean out the little cupboard attached to my dresser, pack the kitchen supplies I won't be using in the next two weeks (including spices).  Shit that's ambitious.  I'm a procrastinator, unless it's super important.  It's like not being a morning person unless you're waking up early to travel/go on vacation.

Okay, time for bed!

My head is spinning with all the things

 Where to begin...

I'm stressed for one, but there's so much more to that than you know.

Last time I posted it was in December? but I wrote the post earlier.

Last year, my Grandfather passed away in March and my Grandmother in November. It was a fucking hard year. In between there my husband's brother, that he wasn't close to in the slightest, passed away as well.  It was also the one year mark of our nephew passing and the 10 year mark of a friend passing.  So, without Covid, it was a very shitty year overall.

Moving on.  January comes and we decide hey we should really get into the housing market.  It's been terrible here and keeps on getting worse. So January, we start viewing houses constantly, we put our first offer on a house (not ever but the first in awhile) and it's nerve wracking...anyways after constantly putting in offers and constantly being outbid it just becomes a chore.  At one point I viewed a house on my own and we put in an offer I never thought we'd put in and we still got outbid 40k+ without the person even viewing the house in person!  Like, that's fucked right?

Finally early March we go ham and our ridiculous offer gets accepted on a house.  Move in date? End of April (officially 2 weeks tomorrow).  They need to give out a handbook once your offer gets accepted, honestly.  There is so much to do and no one to hold your hand to do it.  It's especially hard when your significant other works away but has been the one handling everything, not fun (do not recommend).

Anyways, we're excited but stressed.  The next two weeks consist of signing lawyer stuff, paying the down payment, and me packing the rest of our suite...oh and cleaning.  Thank God I bought a box of wine.  

I wanna cry, I'm so excited, so stressed and going through some of my stuff is sad and nostalgic.  I'm tempted to just eat off of paper plates our last week seeing as it'll just be me here.  My head is just spinning with all the things.

Anyways, that's all that's going on right now.  

Since we'll have our own space I'm tempted to post more or start up the ol' youtubes again...we'll see.