Why I Hate Hormonal Birth Control Pills

I did an experiment this month, with me as the guinea pig.

Four years ago I went off my birth control pills.
I had been on them for about a year and a half and hated every moment of it.

I remember going camping with my then boyfriend and being so unbelievably grumpy towards everyone we were with and I was just not a fun person to be around.  That was after being on the pill for a month.

Let's get back on track, early 2012 I went off of the pill.  I dropped a few pounds, started running again, and just felt happy.  I realized I was in an unhealthy relationship and found someone who made me happy.

That Summer I went back on the pill (can you hear me groaning in agony?).
I remember becoming super anxious and didn't know why, so I went to the doctor who put me on anti-depressants.  Yes, more medication.

After being on the anti-depressants for a month or two I weaned myself off of them because I didn't even feel anything anymore.  I didn't feel sad or happy, just neutral and didn't care about anything.

So from about August 2012 until December 2015 I was stuck being on the pill.

Last year my boyfriend was complaining about how I wasn't lovey anymore and started questioning if I even loved him anymore.  It was bad guys.
When I was home alone I would break down and just bawl my eyes out.

I remember one day in particular, where I woke up grumpy and pissed off boyfriend so he went to his parents house (can you blame him?) and I just stayed in bed all day, crying.

That evening we had a talk and I broke down and told him everything.
I begged to go off of the pill, it's not his choice but I still think we should be making that decision together.
I went off the pill.

Flash forward to now, well kind of. . .At the beginning of June of this year I decided that condoms weren't really cutting it as he was getting fed up with them. 

So, here I am finished my first pack of pills and I can already feel that I've changed and I am unhappy.
I've been crying, not sleeping properly, I am grumpy and irritable for no reason, boyfriend tries to hug me and show love and I shove him away. . .it's bad, bad, bad.

The pills I am currently on are Alesse, I've tried one other brand, Yaz, but well if you've done any research you'd know Yaz is no good.
Hormonal birth control is just not for me, but my doctors talk me out of other methods every time.

Let me know your thoughts in the comments below.
Thank you!