One of Those Movie Song Moments

In attempts to figure some sh*t out I have gone back to my old title of 'Confessions of a Boring Girl'.
That's just about 10 years ago now.

I plan on doing a bigger post closer to my (30th) birthday in eleven days, but for now you get this one where I feel utterly lost and confused. Oh and super grumpy and pms-y.

I feel like I could cry at anything, actually just breathing makes me want to cry.
And here I am listening to one of my cry songs  (More Time by Needtobreathe), don't ask me why it's in my cry song list it just is for some reason and only the first half of the song.
My Cry Song List will be a future post, if you're curious that is.

This post was induced by a glass of wine in my new favorite glass:

 I also finally got into using Lightroom for editing and I am in love, so expect better pictures to come.

I feel so crazy in my head lately.
I get pms-y but only once in awhile and it's weird.
So I get like this where it's hard core days of being anxious and irritated by anything and everything and I want to cry because I feel mad all the time and my poor boyfriend gets the brunt of it and I end up confessing that I don't like my job or that he needs to do more chores (yeah, this has happened).
Or I just get emotional and watch sad movies constantly so that I bawl, and listen to my cry song list.

I feel like an angsty teenager right now.

One of those movie song moments happened today. You know when the song playing perfectly lines up with how you feel or what's going on in your life? That's a movie song moment.
So I was all pissed, for undisclosed reasons, and went to the liquor store to get myself a bottle of wine. . .or two.  I walked in and "I'm A Bitch" by Meredith Brooks started playing and I was like "Yes!" I went to the California wine section grabbed a bottle of mine wine, saw it was on blow out for two bucks cheaper and grabbed another.
As I was at the till I was so satisfied as she was singing how she was a bitch, a lover, child, mother etc.
I love those moments.
Please share any movie song moments you've had in the comments, I'd love to read them.

Why I Hate Hormonal Birth Control Pills

I did an experiment this month, with me as the guinea pig.

Four years ago I went off my birth control pills.
I had been on them for about a year and a half and hated every moment of it.

I remember going camping with my then boyfriend and being so unbelievably grumpy towards everyone we were with and I was just not a fun person to be around.  That was after being on the pill for a month.

Let's get back on track, early 2012 I went off of the pill.  I dropped a few pounds, started running again, and just felt happy.  I realized I was in an unhealthy relationship and found someone who made me happy.

That Summer I went back on the pill (can you hear me groaning in agony?).
I remember becoming super anxious and didn't know why, so I went to the doctor who put me on anti-depressants.  Yes, more medication.

After being on the anti-depressants for a month or two I weaned myself off of them because I didn't even feel anything anymore.  I didn't feel sad or happy, just neutral and didn't care about anything.

So from about August 2012 until December 2015 I was stuck being on the pill.

Last year my boyfriend was complaining about how I wasn't lovey anymore and started questioning if I even loved him anymore.  It was bad guys.
When I was home alone I would break down and just bawl my eyes out.

I remember one day in particular, where I woke up grumpy and pissed off boyfriend so he went to his parents house (can you blame him?) and I just stayed in bed all day, crying.

That evening we had a talk and I broke down and told him everything.
I begged to go off of the pill, it's not his choice but I still think we should be making that decision together.
I went off the pill.

Flash forward to now, well kind of. . .At the beginning of June of this year I decided that condoms weren't really cutting it as he was getting fed up with them. 

So, here I am finished my first pack of pills and I can already feel that I've changed and I am unhappy.
I've been crying, not sleeping properly, I am grumpy and irritable for no reason, boyfriend tries to hug me and show love and I shove him away. . .it's bad, bad, bad.

The pills I am currently on are Alesse, I've tried one other brand, Yaz, but well if you've done any research you'd know Yaz is no good.
Hormonal birth control is just not for me, but my doctors talk me out of other methods every time.

Let me know your thoughts in the comments below.
Thank you!