Anxiety

It's one of those things that's hard to explain to people who have never really felt it.
Sure we have our little day to day anxieties, but then there are the others who feel it over small things or social situations etc.

This week has been particularly bad for me.
Monday I had anxiety all evening. The tightness in the chest, feeling like every breath is a struggle, the constant worrying (over what? nothing, as usual). It's just that feeling like something bad is going to happen or you forgot to do something.

Yesterday I was super anxious and it's even carried over to today.
I was closing up shop at work alone for the first time.  So, I actually have a reason to be anxious (which is rare). But my mind is racing over little things, did I put that box on the right shelf? was I supposed to put the computer into sleep mode?  what number was supposed to be on that envelope? 
Dumb things. But I am so stressed over it.  I'll hear about it this morning if I did anything wrong.
This tightness in my chest hurts, my brain feels swollen from worrying.
I fell asleep pretty early but I feel like I haven't slept at all. 

I suffer from some social anxiety as well, but it's not as bad as it used to be. 
But I do I still struggle to make and keep friendships.

I've done the whole prescription thing and I hated it.
I didn't feel like myself, I felt numb to everything and everyone and that's not something you want to feel towards your loving boyfriend and family.
I only took SSRIs for 6 months but the withdrawal symptoms that came with trying to get off of them were the worst. You're supposed to do it slowly and I did but I also did it a bit quicker than I should have.  I just needed them out of my life.

Living with anxiety can be hard some days and my Boyfriend doesn't understand what it's like to be anxious and that nothing can trigger it. But he's there for me. When I tell him I'm feeling anxious he asks what he can do and usually he can make it a bit better.  The other day when it was bad he distracted me by taking me for a car ride and then we watched Harry Potter.
I was surprised that it made me forget for a few hours, but grateful.

Well I'm off to start my day, hopefully everything went okay last night and my anxieties will go away for the day.

Happy Wednesday!