We did it

You guys, I got married.
For reals.
After almost 4 years of being engaged we did it.

JanayhWrightPhotography

Fifty Days

Today marks the fifty day mark until we get married.
Fifty days.

When the hell did that happen?
How has it been almost two months since we lost someone?

Yesterday I went and saw 'IT:Chapter Two', I cried.  Isn't that dumb? A scary movie and I cried.
First off I didn't even realize I was crying; I was upset by something that would seem so small to most but to me it was a big deal and next thing I knew my cheeks were wet.
That's how it's going to be now, crying and not realizing it, getting upset over things most people wouldn't.

Anyways.
I'm trying to figure out a way to include people in our wedding who can't be with us.  I would either like a row of empty chairs, an empty table, or a table with their pictures and a pumpkin lit up (did I mention it's an Autumn themed wedding?)
If anyone reads this and has a unique idea on how to include passed love ones in our wedding please post it in the comments, it would be greatly appreciated.
I think there's about five or six people that we wish could be there with us.  One is so fresh that it'll be tough.



---I'm publishing this late.....

You guys, I'm struggling

We have had some tough times lately.

I won't go too much into it, but it's made the family come together and change my perspective on life.

We've also kinda, sort of, started planning our wedding.

It hurts my brain.

And then this weekend I had the worst hangover since 2014.

I've changed a bit these past couple weeks.

Usually I don't do anything after work, especially on Friday nights (I work Saturdays).

This past week I went out on a week night to a family member's until after 10pm (that's crazy for me).

Then on Friday I hung out with my brother playing video games until around 9pm (I'm in bed by nine on Fridays).

I feel like I used to be gotta get to bed early because I work tomorrow.

Just super strict with myself.

I feel like I'm getting away from that, I hope.

[This is from in July but just decided to post it now.]
 

Here and Now

The last time I posted was November, my dude still wasn't home.
He showed up a month later, right before Christmas.  I love Christmas and his Mom loves Christmas, so, it was a big deal.
Right after he got home, like a day or two later, there was a huge wind storm.  It knocked the power out at my work, which never happens, ferries got cancelled. It was rough.
Then a week later, another wind storm.  Worse.
It knocked the power out at work again, for two days.
The power at my house was out for 5 days, it came on on Christmas Eve.  Luckily we had a place to stay and had a blast.  Definitely a memorable Christmas.

Now we're in May.
My dude is going to be leaving next week, he'll be gone for 3 weeks and home for one which is better than being gone for almost 3 months straight but it still sucks. 
I'm having a hard time with it.
I know I'm going to bawl next Monday and drink a few glasses of wine.

What else is new?
-I have a nephew coming at the end of August.
-My period is well out of whack for some reason.
-I've been to a wedding (not my own) and now feel like I should really plan ours, not that it'll be big but I have already bought shoes.  He always says "Hello Love" to me so I couldn't help myself.

Expect more posts in the future as I am not going to have much to do with my time.