Standing Up To My Anxiety

Lately I've been living the life of a single girl. . . sort of.

My fiancee is working away at the moment and so I am by myself.

I know lots of couples do this, and it's tough.  I'm lucky that it hasn't been for months at a time, yet, but it's still hard to have him away.

I have really bad anxiety when I have to go out and do stuff by myself.

Like groceries? If I go right after work or early in the morning I'm good, but if I have to go on my days off in the middle of the day? Forget about it, I end up calling my parents and getting one of them to go with him.

Lately I've been challenging my anxiety, or myself I guess.

I meet my mom for coffee at the mall every Sunday when she's working, once she goes back to work I make myself do a lap around the mall by myself and if I'm brave I go into a store or two.  The longest I've done this for lately is about twenty five minutes and then I get sweaty and panicky and have to leave.

So yesterday I decided I was going to take about a 3 hour drive to my favorite beach.  I made myself do it, I almost have to bully myself into doing things...it's pathetic.

But I did it, I spent 3 hours there and even went body boarding.

Proof:

 Once I was on the road I was having a great time blasting my favorites songs on a beautiful, sunny day.  The beach was busy, but it's so big and honestly, no one else cares what you're doing.

I have to keep reminding myself that.

Like if I want to make myself start running again and I have to remind myself that no one else actually cares what I'm doing, I'm bettering myself and will feel great after.

I just thought I'd give a quick update on my anxiety, and while not everyone has a partner that works away so it forces you to do things alone...it helps.  I would suggest bullying challenging yourself to do things outside your comfort zone.

Sometimes Things Just Happen

I've been contemplating this post.
But first of all, may I suggest listening to "Ophelia" by The Lumineers while you read this post? I am so freaking in love with this song.
While I was taking the ferry to work I wrote it out in my notebook I always bring.

I haven't posted in about a week and I have my reasons.

1. I didn't want to post anything lame but guess what? Life happens.

2. I've been feeling off.  I've been fatigued, moody, no libido (TMI?), and it's just been weird.  Plus I've been eating pretty healthy this year and have been gaining weight, I now weigh the most I've ever weighed.  Anyways, I had a hunch and went and got my blood tested for my thyroid.  Turns out it was slightly off and my meds have been regulated again.  Will it ever be normal?

3. A week ago today my wonderful man got laid off from his job.  He's applied to lots of places and even off of our island and no where has any work available for their own workers.

4. My work has finally posted positions (yay!), but they're all part time.

5. I paid all my bills today.

We went from not worrying about money and saving for a house to stressing in a matter of five days.

We've been short with each other some days but never go to sleep mad which I think is important.  We've talked about moving and what would happen if he had to go away for work but none of it works because we don't really know what would happen until it's actually in front of us.

Getting out of the house helps.
Him having a project (his car) helps.
Me working out everyday helps.


This week should be better.
Next week is a short week for me because of the Easter weekend, we have planned for months to go to a car show in The City, which I am so excited for and hopefully it's just a smooth week that will go by quickly.  And it's pay day.

I apologize for the lame, kind of downer post but that's just how life goes isn't it?
Enjoy your weekend!

I Don't Like Mondays

I am going to be honest with you.
I am not quite ready for this Monday blog.
Usually I prepare the night before, have it written out and photos ready.
Last night I think I watched a movie and passed out at 9.

And this is what I look like right now:

Wine and chips in hand.
I started out with a bad day that just kept getting worse.
Plus I'm starting to get sick.

Do you have those work days where it feels like nothing goes your way?
I had a whole week like that and it's followed me to this week.

I got home tonight and my boyfriend's mom had a glass a wine ready for me. So I got into my pajamas, settled in to bed with a glass of wine and a movie.

I don't like Mondays.

What do you do to de-stress?
I promise to be more prepared next time!

Bonus Friday Post

Well Lovelies,
I guess it's officially Christmas time once it's Black Friday isn't it?
I live in Canada and for whatever reason we have joined in on the Black Friday craze and most places have even started their deals on Thursday now!

I apologize for not posting on Wednesday as I usually do.
This week has not been for me.

Sunday I had a break down as am I getting burnt out.
I work as a casual but my schedule is usually full Monday to Saturday.
My days off are scattered which is fine for a little while, but then I started to realize "I'm not getting anything accomplished on my days off".
I spend my days off relaxing, having "me-time" or hanging out with my mom.

Monday and Tuesday, I worked at a crazy busy lab and it's not a lab I like going to because the drive freaks me out.  Do you have roads you just don't like to drive?

Wednesday I was supposed to have a short day but ended up having to go to a meeting and while that wasn't difficult, I was tired.

It's Friday now. It's 6am, I don't start until 8, but I've been up since 1:30am.

Last night I was anxious, which is even more exhausting.

This isn't supposed to be a post where I whine, I apologize if it comes across this way.
Basically I'm trying to explain my schedule to you and talk about burn out.

Have you ever suffered from burn out before?
I have and I don't know what to do to stop it from happening.

If anyone has suggestions please leave them in the comments!

I have things I do to relax, but how do I actually prevent burn out?

It's time for me to load up on coffee, head to work and then hopefully catch a few sales later today!

Have a fun and safe Black Friday!