Life Changes

Isn't it funny how things can change so quickly?

Three weeks ago my love got laid off and I was doing lots of part-time work with the company I work for.

Today, all in one day, he got a job to do in a couple weeks that pays well (it's only a week long, but at least it's work).  As for me? I got one of three jobs I applied for with the company I'm with.  After two years I get a home and benefits!  I can say goodbye to my Friday nights though, but then there's also no case of the Mondays.  So it's kind of a toss up.

I feel like good things are finally coming our way.  I hope I'm not jinxing it.
I still feel poor as hell though.

Lots of changes happening...I'm curious if I'll be less stressed, less exhausted, and if I'll have more time to blog and work on youtube.  I guess I shouldn't forget working out either.

Once I start this position I should really make a schedule for myself, because I really am quite a lazy person.

I hope you have a fabulous weekend!
Let me know if there's any changes going on your life and how you deal with them.

Sometimes Things Just Happen

I've been contemplating this post.
But first of all, may I suggest listening to "Ophelia" by The Lumineers while you read this post? I am so freaking in love with this song.
While I was taking the ferry to work I wrote it out in my notebook I always bring.

I haven't posted in about a week and I have my reasons.

1. I didn't want to post anything lame but guess what? Life happens.

2. I've been feeling off.  I've been fatigued, moody, no libido (TMI?), and it's just been weird.  Plus I've been eating pretty healthy this year and have been gaining weight, I now weigh the most I've ever weighed.  Anyways, I had a hunch and went and got my blood tested for my thyroid.  Turns out it was slightly off and my meds have been regulated again.  Will it ever be normal?

3. A week ago today my wonderful man got laid off from his job.  He's applied to lots of places and even off of our island and no where has any work available for their own workers.

4. My work has finally posted positions (yay!), but they're all part time.

5. I paid all my bills today.

We went from not worrying about money and saving for a house to stressing in a matter of five days.

We've been short with each other some days but never go to sleep mad which I think is important.  We've talked about moving and what would happen if he had to go away for work but none of it works because we don't really know what would happen until it's actually in front of us.

Getting out of the house helps.
Him having a project (his car) helps.
Me working out everyday helps.


This week should be better.
Next week is a short week for me because of the Easter weekend, we have planned for months to go to a car show in The City, which I am so excited for and hopefully it's just a smooth week that will go by quickly.  And it's pay day.

I apologize for the lame, kind of downer post but that's just how life goes isn't it?
Enjoy your weekend!

Anxiety, Anxiety, Anxiety

Here you go, another anxiety post.
It never changes, really.
It's always the same.

Your throat tightens, you feel like you have a bulge there (my most recent one lasted 3 weeks, I was ready to go to the doctor but it went away), your heart races, sometimes you get sweaty or cold, want to throw up, want to cry.

The reasons for my anxiety?
It's every changing.
Lately it's been work.
I always want to do the right thing, order the right test, follow the procedure etc.
Sometimes things don't go as planned.  A lot of the time they don't.
Today I was calling back and forth for almost an hour trying to figure out something I screwed up.
First of all, I hate using the phone.  It is probably my number one anxiety trigger.
At work I can do it because it has to be done, but I hate it.
We seemed to fix the issue that had happened, but here I am at home, four hours after work is done, still thinking about it.
And thinking about something from yesterday too.
It sucks because sometimes you have someone there to ask for help (today I didn't) but then they just agree with you but you want to know what they would do not just to agree with you!

I work in the medical field by the way, I don't know if I've ever mentioned that.

I still have one more day of work, and I probably won't even enjoy my day off on Sunday.  I'll be too anxious.  Something is bound to make me anxious tomorrow, especially because I'll be the senior person working.

I just wish that I knew everything I could possible know about my job or have no anxiety.  Either option would work for me.  Or just early retirement!

I hope everyone has a much better weekend than yours truly!