I think I'm going to reinstate my old blog.
So, apparently I deleted it off this account and can no longer go back in and access the whole myroomisred link. Which is probably good because I no longer live in that red room and it is also no longer red!
Yeah, I'm going to do it.
I miss that girl.
I've turned into a more anxious girl in the last few years, yet my life has gotten better.
Let's channel this Boring Girl, because she is still boring...probably more so now.
So I know a lot of the ones I kept in contact with are long gone now, like, Lauren, Chelsea(x2), Bee, & Cindy.
Those are the ones I remember the best, sorry if I've forgotten others, but any contact is appreciated (I live a boring life).
I apologize for the language but, getting older fucking sucks.
I'm thirty now.
What the hell?
I was twenty four when I had my blog and had friends on here.
Back then life seemed so exciting.
What I remember most is that it was 2009, my Grandpa had just passed away (fucking pancreatic cancer) and I was finally treated for my thyroid and it was like all of a sudden after his funeral it all clicked into place.
All of a sudden I had two jobs, one at a bookstore (that only stuck for four months) and one at a grocery store as their day time maintenance(which stuck for four years, one two year relationship, one breakup, and another relationship which has turned into a three year engagement).
Fuck. Really? Fuck has been a favorite word of mine this year. But like seriously, has that all happened? You guys don't even know the half of it yet!
So let's ignore the bookstore job, because nothing really happened there except the fact that I didn't know a cute guy was flirting with me (yes, I had to be told a guy was flirting with me)
Okay so last time I posted on Confessions Of A Boring Girl was quite ominous.
I'm even playing the video I posted right now and that song just takes me back every time.
I remember that morning perfectly (and I totally just realized something else now too but I'll get to it..remind me) So I posted that on July 17th 2012
But everything had happened quite a bit before, and that quote I posted it just so perfect and I feel like that movie is just it for my life.
Tom: "What happened? Why - why didn't they work out?"
Summer: "What always happens. Life."Fuck.
This is the longest post I've done ever on this blog.
Long story short, I was dating a guy and we were not in a good place, we went out for a friend's birthday and I ended up running into a guy we both used to work with and that I kind of always flirted with. This guy and I ended up dancing (I hate calling him this guy) and my current boyfriend didn't like it, but we were honestly just goofing, like it wasn't seductive dancing.
Then at one point this song I really liked came on and it had come on earlier and my boyfriend didn't want to dance to it, but when it came on again this guy did and I just took it as this sign.
-Back story real quick. This guy and my current boyfriend and basically everyone else I was with worked at the same store all together one point in time. We always kind of flirted and even got in trouble for it.-
So anyways, we danced to this song and he went for the kiss, I told him I couldn't and he backed off and understood.
I told him I was sorry and that I liked him but I just couldn't do that to somebody.
Funny thing, we both aren't facebook fans and I asked him if he had facebok, he did.
The walk home was long, my ex and I bickered back and forth, as yes I get that I danced with this other guy but it wasn't close and nothing happened, but he didn't get that. I mean, I totally knew was I was doing, I wasn't that intoxicated and I definitely had a crush on this other guy at some point and had thought about him after he left the store.
[Omg, get on with it woman.]
My ex slept at my house, I can clearly remember "him" facing the wall and me facing the other way. I was just too nice to make "him" walk home that late.
[I'm that girl who everyone thinks of as a friend, if you couldn't figure that out already]
So the next morning, I like to refer to it as the 'Morning After', I went to meet my Mom for coffee at Blenz, our usual Sunday meet up (remember this), where I spilled everything to her.
After that I went and had a nice long walk at the beach, thinking about everything, while listening to this song:
Needless to say, within days we were broken up.
I remember on my brother's birthday that everyone had their significant others there except me, so that was at least 5 days after. That night I remember laying in my parent's drive way on the phone with The Ex crying, wondering if we had done the right thing and wondering what I would do without "him" because he had been my best friend for almost 3 years.
That was a rough night.
But within days this other guy contacted me on the hated Facebook.
I hate Facebook but at the same time I thank so much for it, I don't know where I would be right now without it to be honest.
So he contacted me, gave me his cell number on there and six years later here we are engaged.
You guys have no idea how much I thank my friend for having her birthday that night and going to that bar.
I really used to question that whole fate shit and that night made me really believe in that.
You have no idea.
This man, my love, I always would write in old blogs and journal entries how he used to make me feel like I was hanging out with my best friend I had growing up and, you guys, it's still like that.
He makes me laugh everyday, he makes it hard to be mad at him, and he just is my favorite person ever.
Fuck, I love him so much.
So, that's life, basically, up to date.
Let's get back into this Confessions Of A Boring Girl groove shall we?
Oh and The Ex?
They ended up deciding they were meant to be female.
[Editing me]
You may also be wondering why I was making you remember about that morning after and that coffee at Blenz with my Mom.
Well, just about every Sunday my fiancee and I meet my Mom for coffee at that same Blenz.
Ironic?
[2nd editing me]
Tom was right.
I've been watching that scene over and over and it just so fits what happened in my life.
You only know a small part of it, and a large part of it was I didn't want to belong to someone but I always felt this other guy was "it" and he is.
And just, how can some scene in a movie fit so perfectly in your life?
[P.S. I've been bawling for the past, oh 20-30 mins, about this.]
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