I Hate Being Lonely

I like being alone but I hate being lonely.

I feel like this sums me up very well.

When I feel lonely, my world goes south.
Does that make sense?

This is worse on my days off.
My Love is away working right now, it's almost been two weeks and it never gets easier.

He mostly works at this time of year (my favorite time-Autumn). Last year he was gone for three weeks then home for four days and then gone another month.
Last year was hard.

I'm very grateful he got this job, as he loves it and he is respected more than some of his other jobs he has.  Overall, we're both happy.
It's these lonely moments that get me.
I know it must be hard for him as he's away from everything and everyone, his home.
But as my mental health has always been an issue, I find it especially hard.


Yesterday was a big feat for me, I was quite happy with myself.
I went out shopping, like fun shopping, by myself.
Since you don't know me, just to let you know this is big deal for me.
It's great if I do groceries by myself, I think I over came that last year though, but I still like to call my Mom to go with me on particularly anxious days.
I have not done fun shopping by myself in years.  I used to take the bus all the time in my early twenties, I don't know what happened.
I used to even go see movies by myself and some of those movies are my favorites because I was by myself when I saw them!

Anyways, I didn't come home for two and a half hours.
I hit up HomeSense first, seeing as it was the first day of Autumn, then Winners. . .then I decided not to push my luck and left the mall to get some groceries at Wal-Mart (On a freaking Saturday! Never again. It was so busy!!)
After that I checked out London Drugs for some cosmetic bits and then headed to my parent's house to check in with my brother.
I mean, it's not a crazy day, but it's a lot for me. And I didn't have one panic attack!

Tomorrow I might even try my luck at a movie.
Scratch that, there's no early matinees.
I really want to see 'Life Itself', it looks like a me movie.
But tomorrow 'The Resident' season 2 premieres, so I kinda wanna watch that instead.

Anyone else watching 'Maniac' on Netflix?
It's interesting, I found the first episode very slow.  I liked the second and third episode a lot.
I think I'm on the fourth...
I'm also watching 'Hilda' which is pretty relaxing and easy to watch.


By now I'm sure you've realized my best friend is Netflix.


[I just realized I need to update my 'about me' section, as I am no longer a "twenty year old something blogger".]

What Do You Do On A Friday Night?

But honestly.

I rarely get to treat a Friday night like a 'Friday Night', but tonight I do.


So, this Friday night I got home, looked at my laundry, decided no, and poured a glass of wine.
I then proceeded to get into my comfy uniform (leggings, a t-shirt, this sweater, and some kind of wool/worker man sock [can't think of what they're actually called])

I then lit every candle in my living room and turned on my fairy lights.
Then it was really a toss between checking out the new show 'Maniac' on Netflix or watching youtube,
I chose Spotify for about half an hour and then let my curiosity get the best of me and watched one episode of 'Maniac'.
I am intrigued.

Then I watched two episodes of "Summer Camp Island", all of which I've already seen, but I love that show.

By this time I think I was two glasses of wine in and had decided to make a quesadilla .
Not much time had passed after the quesadilla that I decided to make chocolate chip cookies.
I also talked to My Love, who is working away at the moment (it's that time of year, hence the wine),

And now here we are, three glasses of wine and two cookies later.

It's not even nine thirty yet.
Do I go to bed?
Do I watch more 'Maniac'?
Read a book?
Or browse the interwebs?


What do you do on a Friday night?

What I've Been Watching

There's a bug going around and I am currently getting over it.
So I've been drinking lots of homemade green juice (recipes coming soon!) and binge watching a lot of tv and movies.
Here is what I've been watching:

1. Girlboss (Netflix)- this was such an easy show to watch and I finished it in two days.  Sometimes I like to watch fluff and this was perfect for it, plus it helped me get my butt in gear to blog again.

2. Before I Wake (Netflix)- Starring Kate Bosworth and that awesome Canadian kid Jacob Tremblay, I think he is just fantastic.  This movie was weird, really different concept for a scary movie but I liked it!

3. How I Met Your Mother (Netflix)- I never stop watching this show, it's one of those shows I've watched so many times now and can just have it on in the background but not worry about missing anything because I know what happens.

4. Lights Out- This is one of my favorite scary movies ever because it touches on mental health and I just felt like I could relate in away.  Plus I love Teresa Palmer.

5. Drugs Inc (Netflix)- Do I need to really justify this? I love shows like this and Border Security.

6. 10 Cloverfield Lane (Netflix)- John Goodman as a creepy guy? I love it! Such an odd movie but I couldn't stop watching it! I was not expecting the ending to turn out the way it did.

7. Dark Skies- Another scary movie...sensing a theme? I haven't watched this in a while but I've been yearning to, I just love it.  If you haven't seen it I don't want to spoil it, but I think the topic was done really well.

8. The Duff- Another fluff movie :)

9. Nerve- This movie was weird but kind of cool and scary if that was actually something I was a part of.  Not sure if it's actually a recommendation, but it definitely kept my attention.

10. Gilmore Girls (Netflix)- Duh.

Hopefully everyone avoid this awful cold going around and enjoy the rest of your week!

What's On Television?

Hey Guys,

Enjoy this picture of a new cute puppy:

What is everyone watching on television nowadays? Or does everyone just watch Netflix?

I don't have cable, so I'm curious.

I might get cable when the Fall premiers begin...
Mostly for American Horror Story.

It seems like every show I like gets cancelled.
Last year I was really into "Witches of East End" but it didn't last long.

As for current tv I really enjoy watching "Chasing Life" and "Border Security" when I can.

Other than that, I live off of Netflix.

This Summer I've had marathons of "House" and "The Secret Life of the American Teenager".  I can always watch "Gilmore Girls" but I prefer watching it during Autumn the best along with "Gossip Girl".  I watched "Gossip Girl" back in the day and only make it to the third season, right now I'm on season 5 and am so excited to see the end!
But I did ruin it for myself and read spoilers...
My boyfriend and I also got into "Wet, Hot, American Summer:First Day of Camp". Pfffft!

As for movies?
"How to Train Your Dragon", "Shrek" and the random horror movies Netflix has have been favorites.

What are you watching or what are your Netflix picks?